Why Commit?

As we age, mature, grow, so do our relationships! Married couples will go through many different stages throughout their lives. How do we adapt?  The honeymoon stage: a stage defined as a "blissful" but unsustainable perception of the relationship as just about perfect. This stage normally occurs right after marriage. The reality-just-set-in stage: a more humbling stage where a learning curve occurs. Daily life no longer consists of planning a wedding and a vacation but of continuing to grow in love and closeness, overcome challenges, work on compromise. The I-think-we-have-figured-this-out stage: a more comfortable stage where both partners feel satisfied they have had small but important successes that have shown them they can do this! It is important to remember you will be in and out of this stage all of your life! The how-do-we-be-parents stage: although not all couples will have children, those who do will likely spend a decent amount of time in this stage. Truth be tol...

One of the best pieces of advice that I have been given in regards to cultivating a healthy marriage was to take pre-marital counseling. Why not start of a healthy commitment with as many tools in your belt as you can?  Commitment requires mutual effort from both parties. Marriage is the highest form of commitment we can make with another person. In order to become more fully committed, we can to do a number of things: 1. Communicate! This involves discussing insecurities, challenges, mental states, etc. This deep level of communication should not be shared with other members of the preferred sex outside of the marriage. Setting boundaries is better to do before anything damaging to the relationship occurs, rather than after. 2. Remember it takes two! Being considerate of yourself as well as your partner will feel easier the more committed you are. Both members of the relationship are contributors. Both are needed to sustain the relationship. 3. Avoid making comparisons. Your relat...

We have touched on looking for and cultivating a healthy relationship that may even progress to marriage. What happens after you are married? Commitment in marriage is lifelong, not just a one time agreement on your wedding day. Once the "honeymoon phase" of the relationship is over, the actual reality of the commitment can set in. How do you work together to create a balanced uplifting family dynamic? How do you deal with the pressure of providing and caring for your family? How do you make difficult decisions with your spouse? How do you overcome conflict? How do you agree on parenting styles? How do you increase love in a marriage? Patience, perspective, and perseverance! Getting through conflict, making big decisions, enduring struggles, sacrificing for your family, all require earnest effort, mutual compromise, and a willingness to keep trying. One of the ways a relationship can be secure, balanced, and lasting is by understanding the importance of mutual contribution an...

Let's talk about some green flags! Finding a partner you want to spend your life with can be a daunting idea. There are many small things to pay attention to while dating that can signal how a marriage with that person would go. That said, I want to emphasize the importance of getting to know your partner in their worst as well as their best moments before making the commitment of marriage. The rule of three is a great outline for determining when to or not to progress a relationship. After every three months of dating, it can be very beneficial to communicate how both are feeling about where the relationship is headed. People tend to change after about three and six months. Guards will go down and one's true character tends to show more clearly after this amount of time. If someone is putting on a front, their "act" will likely drop after around three months. Thus, it is important that you get to experience being with your partner through all seasons!  What are some ...