Keeping up with Commitment

One of the best pieces of advice that I have been given in regards to cultivating a healthy marriage was to take pre-marital counseling. Why not start of a healthy commitment with as many tools in your belt as you can? 

Commitment requires mutual effort from both parties. Marriage is the highest form of commitment we can make with another person. In order to become more fully committed, we can to do a number of things:

1. Communicate! This involves discussing insecurities, challenges, mental states, etc. This deep level of communication should not be shared with other members of the preferred sex outside of the marriage. Setting boundaries is better to do before anything damaging to the relationship occurs, rather than after.

2. Remember it takes two! Being considerate of yourself as well as your partner will feel easier the more committed you are. Both members of the relationship are contributors. Both are needed to sustain the relationship.

3. Avoid making comparisons. Your relationship looks different than anyone else's. Everyone feels and expresses love differently. Moreover, we have no idea everything that goes on between another couple. Focus on improving your own marriage with your spouse through trusted resources who have your best interest at heart.

4. Spend time together. Life seems to become increasingly busy and complicated. Factor in children and other important responsibilities and one's free time becomes pretty limited. However, I am a firm believer that we will be able to make time for things we really want to make time for. Work with each other's schedules and dedicate some time to spend alone together.

"As we construct appropriate boundaries, are fiercely loyal, control thoughts, and put our spouse first, it is unlikely our marriage will ever be traumatized by infidelity."

- From Successful Marriages and Families, by David J. Hawkins, et al.

Marriage can be the most fulfilling commitment we can ever make should we choose to make it so. Mutual respect can consideration will do wonders for any relationship- marriage especially. Turn toward your partner when you are struggling. When your partner is part of the issue, it is even more important to talk with them. Marriage counseling can take place before a marriage even begins as well as throughout one's marriage. Even if you feel your problems are silly or insignificant, do not discount the importance of seeking assistance through counseling! Do everything you and your partner can to make your marriage healthy, loving and fulfilling.