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Why Keep Covenants?

What is a covenant?  Covenants are typically very strong, even sacred commitments. These promises are between two individuals who expect one another to uphold their end of the deal. Covenants are discussed often in the Bible. I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. As a member of this church, I make special, sacred covenants between God and myself. Why are these covenants important? These covenants keep me mindful of my purpose while here in mortality. Furthermore, they protect me from the influence of the adversary as long as I strive to live in accordance with the principles of the gospel. The gospel is the word of God that I live by, giving me guidance on how I can live more like Jesus Christ. Covenants help me become more like my Savior. Through these covenants, these sacred promises I make with God, I am able to find genuine joy. I am able to live a fulfilling, blessed life. One of the most amazing promises we are made as we keep our covenants involves wha...
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How to "Mom!"

I am sure we have all seen those posts on Instagram portraying the "perfect mom," or the comments underneath posts all giving opinions on how to mother. To be honest, being a mother looks different for every mom. Furthermore, every child is going to have a different relationship with his/her mother than any other sibling. As such, mothers will need to cater to their children's needs. This means other moms do not necessarily know what is best for another mom's child.  So how do we "mom?" Trust your motherly instincts!! You know your kids! Listening to your motherly nature will become easier with time. Parenthood is a relationship with your child! When we see being a mom as a relationship description rather than a role description, we become more willing to work with our children. Allow yourself to learn from your children! We tend to learn much more from children they learn from us. As such, it is so important to open ourselves up to new ideas, new ways of le...
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Raising Little Responsibilities

Being a parent is one of the most amazing jobs we can have. Raising children teaches us a lot more about ourselves, our partner, and where we want to be with our parenting. How do we parent in love? How do we adapt to their needs as best we can? How can be cope with not being the "perfect parent?" "In order to promote optimal development and to rear children in love and righteousness, the following are crucial elements for each child, although specific implementations and approaches may be individualized based upon the needs and personality of the particular child: • Love, warmth, and support  • Clear and reasonable expectations for competent behavior • Limits and boundaries with some room for negotiation and compromise • Reasoning and developmentally appropriate con-sequences and punishments for breaching established         limits • Opportunities to perform competently and make choices • Absence of coercive, hostile forms of discipline, such as harsh phys...
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Aging Gracefully

As we age, mature, grow, so do our relationships! Married couples will go through many different stages throughout their lives. How do we adapt?  The honeymoon stage: a stage defined as a "blissful" but unsustainable perception of the relationship as just about perfect. This stage normally occurs right after marriage. The reality-just-set-in stage: a more humbling stage where a learning curve occurs. Daily life no longer consists of planning a wedding and a vacation but of continuing to grow in love and closeness, overcome challenges, work on compromise. The I-think-we-have-figured-this-out stage: a more comfortable stage where both partners feel satisfied they have had small but important successes that have shown them they can do this! It is important to remember you will be in and out of this stage all of your life! The how-do-we-be-parents stage: although not all couples will have children, those who do will likely spend a decent amount of time in this stage. Truth be tol...
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Keeping up with Commitment

One of the best pieces of advice that I have been given in regards to cultivating a healthy marriage was to take pre-marital counseling. Why not start of a healthy commitment with as many tools in your belt as you can?  Commitment requires mutual effort from both parties. Marriage is the highest form of commitment we can make with another person. In order to become more fully committed, we can to do a number of things: 1. Communicate! This involves discussing insecurities, challenges, mental states, etc. This deep level of communication should not be shared with other members of the preferred sex outside of the marriage. Setting boundaries is better to do before anything damaging to the relationship occurs, rather than after. 2. Remember it takes two! Being considerate of yourself as well as your partner will feel easier the more committed you are. Both members of the relationship are contributors. Both are needed to sustain the relationship. 3. Avoid making comparisons. Your relat...
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After the Honeymoon Phase

We have touched on looking for and cultivating a healthy relationship that may even progress to marriage. What happens after you are married? Commitment in marriage is lifelong, not just a one time agreement on your wedding day. Once the "honeymoon phase" of the relationship is over, the actual reality of the commitment can set in. How do you work together to create a balanced uplifting family dynamic? How do you deal with the pressure of providing and caring for your family? How do you make difficult decisions with your spouse? How do you overcome conflict? How do you agree on parenting styles? How do you increase love in a marriage? Patience, perspective, and perseverance! Getting through conflict, making big decisions, enduring struggles, sacrificing for your family, all require earnest effort, mutual compromise, and a willingness to keep trying. One of the ways a relationship can be secure, balanced, and lasting is by understanding the importance of mutual contribution an...
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Attributes, Attitudes, & Actions!

Let's talk about some green flags! Finding a partner you want to spend your life with can be a daunting idea. There are many small things to pay attention to while dating that can signal how a marriage with that person would go. That said, I want to emphasize the importance of getting to know your partner in their worst as well as their best moments before making the commitment of marriage. The rule of three is a great outline for determining when to or not to progress a relationship. After every three months of dating, it can be very beneficial to communicate how both are feeling about where the relationship is headed. People tend to change after about three and six months. Guards will go down and one's true character tends to show more clearly after this amount of time. If someone is putting on a front, their "act" will likely drop after around three months. Thus, it is important that you get to experience being with your partner through all seasons!  What are some ...
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