After the Honeymoon Phase

We have touched on looking for and cultivating a healthy relationship that may even progress to marriage. What happens after you are married? Commitment in marriage is lifelong, not just a one time agreement on your wedding day. Once the "honeymoon phase" of the relationship is over, the actual reality of the commitment can set in. How do you work together to create a balanced uplifting family dynamic? How do you deal with the pressure of providing and caring for your family? How do you make difficult decisions with your spouse? How do you overcome conflict? How do you agree on parenting styles? How do you increase love in a marriage?

Patience, perspective, and perseverance! Getting through conflict, making big decisions, enduring struggles, sacrificing for your family, all require earnest effort, mutual compromise, and a willingness to keep trying. One of the ways a relationship can be secure, balanced, and lasting is by understanding the importance of mutual contribution and role support.

Why are family roles important? Roles help establish boundaries, ensure all familial needs are appropriately met, and effort is balanced between spouses and family members. Equality in a marriage tends to be viewed in a very transactional matter. Marriage is not supposed to be a transactional relationship. It is about give and take, but it is also about developing unity, caring for one another, and learning as a team. It is up to each spouse, as well as every other member of the family to offer support. Parents provide financial support for their children, ensuring their physical needs are being met. Parents fulfilling their children's emotional needs by teaching them how to effectively communicate, by spending time with them, and by offering a safe space to open up and feel love. Children assist in efforts to create a loving atmosphere in the home, participate in service opportunities, and learn to demonstrate love towards themselves, their siblings, and their parents. Husbands and wives get to guide family decisions and support one another in parenting, academic/career endeavors, and overcoming challenges. Each member of the family is important. Each must be treated with respect. Roles and duties will naturally evolve as family members age and as external circumstances promote an adjustment. Marriage and family life, can be more exciting, more loving, more fulfilling than any earlier stages of the relationship. We get to decide whether we allow love to fade or to flourish.